Inner Peace
by quokka
Summary: Tony and Ziva go camping. Inspired by the deleted scene from Hit and Run (10x13).


Dark clouds gathered over them and in the sky above, as they found themselves surrounded by mismatched tent poles and polyester canvas in the middle of a forest clearing. When a particularly forceful and cold gust of February air whipped a corner of the tent canvas in her face, Ziva seriously regretted changing her mind and taking Tony up on his offer to go camping.

She had spent the better part of that Saturday mulling over what Mr. Cutwright had told her Friday evening. He was right; life's too short to hide who you love. And she was tired of being scared. Maybe Tony's inner peace thing was exactly what she needed to work some things out. She had tried working things out by herself and had gotten nowhere. Which wasn't surprising, considering her main "problem" was her partnership—friendship…whatever kind of ship—she had with Tony. Perhaps if she actually joined him, they could get somewhere.

As the first drops of rain inevitably fell on their heads, Ziva cursed in Hebrew and glared in Tony's direction. He made a face in reply and not two seconds later, the floodgates opened. Both cursed as they grabbed their gear and dashed towards Tony's car.

They were soaked to the skin by the time they tumbled into the back seat of the car. Their frustration weighed as heavy as the air outside, as they untangled limbs and backpacks and sat down on opposite sides. Ziva's jaw tightened when Tony shook his head like a dog, spraying raindrops all over the inside of the car.

"What?" he asked innocently. "It's not like we aren't soaked already."

He held up his sleeping bag and squeezed, water dripping on the floor, and gave her a look as if to say "now what?"

"What kind of an idiot takes out his sleeping bag when the tent isn't even ready," she said testily.

"The kind that's never gone camping before," Tony replied matching her tone.

Ziva dropped her head back against the seat and closed her eyes for a moment. The feeling of water dripping down her neck and under her shirt collar urged her into action.

"We have to get out of these wet clothes," she said, trying to keep her tone neutral.

She was already in the middle of removing her coat when she made the mistake of looking at him. His face was split into a broad grin and he waggled his eyebrows at her.

"Unless you want to explain to Gibbs why you can't come in on Monday due to hypothermia," she added in a tight voice.

Threatening the wrath of Gibbs usually worked on Tony and he started stripping without further comment. The dripping wet clothes were discarded in the front of the car, leaving them in nothing but their underwear and a t-shirt. Ziva shivered involuntarily and opened her backpack to retrieve a sleeping bag and a micro-fiber towel. Tony eyed the dry sleeping bag longingly, then grinned as he opened his part of the back seat and reached into the trunk to retrieve a picnic blanket.

"We should just go home, when the weather clears up a bit," Ziva said quietly, dabbing at her hair with the towel, then offering it to Tony before it would be too wet to be of any use to him.

"Are you crazy, did you see the road we took to get here?" he asked, gratefully accepting the towel and vigorously drying his hair with it. "Because I could barely see it in the fading daylight. It's probably turned into a river the way it's been coming down in buckets."

When Tony handed her back the towel, Ziva couldn't contain a chuckle.

"You look like a…porcuswine," she said, pointing at his hair, the corners of her mouth twitching upwards.

He opened his mouth to correct her, but then a slow smile appeared on his lips and he wagged a finger at her. It took all of her willpower not to reach out and run her hands through his messy hair when he smiled at her like that.

"So, what, we spend the night in the car?" It came out grumpier than she had intended.

"We've spent plenty of nights in a car during stakeouts."

"Yes, and they were incredibly uncomfortable," she said matter-of-factly.

"Well then, we're in luck my car broke down two days ago, because this replacement has some very nice features."

After a few minutes of moving around the cramped confines of the car, Tony had managed to position the seats perfectly flat, making them comfortable enough to sleep on. Ziva raised her eyebrows in appreciation and maneuvered herself into her sleeping bag. Tony lay down at the other side of the car, heaved a heavy sigh, and covered himself as best he could with the small picnic blanket.

After a few minutes of listening to the heavy rainfall on the roof of the car, Tony broke the silence.

"I'm sorry this camping trip went down the drain…literally. I wanted to give you the ultimate American camping experience," he said, voice tinged with disappointment.

"How would you know what the ultimate American camping experience is like when you've never actually gone camping," Ziva teased.

"I've seen it in plenty of movies," Tony replied with a grin. "I wanted to make you s'mores, doesn't get more American than that. I bet you've never eaten s'mores."

Ziva felt his eyes on the side of her face and bit her bottom lip. It would be so easy to lie and pretend he was right. But she came here to find inner peace, with him. So instead she took a deep breath and said, "I have, actually. Ray made them when we went skiing."

"Oh."

She had never heard so much disappointment in such a short word. From the corner of her eye, Ziva could see his smile fade as he faced the roof again. _Maybe a little white lie wouldn't have been so bad, after all,_ she thought as a heavy silence settled over them.

"If he hadn't killed an innocent woman, would you've married him?" Tony asked quietly several minutes later.

Ziva hadn't expected that particular question and it took her a moment to gather her thoughts, only to realize she had no real answer for him.

"I don't know. Maybe. Probably."

"You really loved him, huh?" he said as he faced her again, pain evident in his eyes.

"No, I didn't," she replied, without hesitation this time.

She looked away as he frowned, painfully aware she had just set herself up for more questions she wasn't really ready for.

"Then why would you have married him?"

Ziva opened her mouth briefly, unsure of what to say, then remained silent for several moments, lost in thought.

"I suppose…I wanted to feel normal. And, that's what normal people do, right? They get married and have babies."

She briefly glanced in his direction, wondering if he was going to make another joke about her not being normal, but was met with a seriousness he rarely showed.

"Ray was the next best thing, I guess," she continued with a self-conscious smile.

"If a murderous spy, who barely knows you, is the next best thing, I'd hate to know what you consider the best thing."

Ziva's heart sank at his words and she focused her attention on the roof again. The rain had all but stopped now, and somehow this made the car feel twice as small.

"You need to up your standards, Ziva," he almost pleaded. "You deserve so much better than that. You deserve someone who makes you smile, who puts you first. Someone who'd do just about anything to make you happy."

Ziva clenched her jaw and blinked rapidly. Maybe she wasn't quite ready to deal with inner peace and …relationships, after all.

"I'm sorry, I keep on making things worse," Tony grumbled.

Ziva turned to look at him, unsure what he was apologizing for.

"I wanted to take you camping so you could take your mind of…things, hoping it would make you smile. Really smile. Instead, I'm just reminding you of all the shitty things that have happened to you."

"Tony, you were there for me, when a lot of those shitty things happened." She sent him her most genuine smile and added, "I don't thank you enough for that."

Their eyes locked, until he smiled that intimate smile that always made her stomach flip, and she turned to stare at the roof again. The air felt lighter now and they lapsed into an amicable silence.

"Sounds like the downpour finally stopped," Tony said a few minutes later.

Ziva smiled at his inability to stay quiet for long periods of time. She frowned when he got up and half-crawled to the front of the car to fiddle with a few buttons, and couldn't help but sneak a glance at his ass. He almost caught her when he let out a triumphant sound and looked back at her, then at the interior cover of the roof which was sliding open to reveal a now clear and starry sky.

As he resumed his earlier position, he said, "When I was a kid, I would climb onto the roof and watch the stars."

"So did I", Ziva said in surprise and turned to look at his face, his eyes still focused on the night sky.

"Do you know any constellations?" he asked and finally looked at her, a gleam in his eyes.

"Some. But only in Hebrew," Ziva replied and couldn't help but smile at the enthusiastic look that appeared on his face.

He pointed at a particular collection of bright dots and said, "That's the big dipper."

"You are making that up," Ziva complained, narrowing her eyes at him. "Only an eight-year-old would come up with a name like that."

He looked at her mock-offended. "Do you want to learn the English names or not?"

Ziva let out a soft huff and turned towards the sky again, which Tony took as his cue to continue his basic astronomy lesson.

As he pointed out a few more constellations, he had to shuffle closer for a better view of the ones that were blocked by his side of the car roof. The closer he inched towards her, the less Ziva focused on the stars. She mm'd and oh'd in all the right places, but her attention was solely focused on the relaxed expression on her partner's face, his low voice and close proximity lulling her into a calmness she didn't experience very often.

When he stopped talking and turned to face her, he looked pleasantly surprised to find her nose only inches from his.

"You weren't paying attention, Miss David," Tony said amused.

"Au contraire, I was paying very close attention," she said and winked.

As his eyes flitted all over her face, a disappointed look appeared on his.

"You know," he started in a low, intimate voice. "I wanted to show you the stars, sitting by a campfire."

The realization that Tony had put a lot more thought into this camping trip than she had initially thought, only to have it ruined by a rainstorm, made her stomach flip and her heart ache at the same time. She was still not convinced she deserved his…affection—some days she even doubted whether she deserved his friendship—but in the end it wasn't her call to make, anyway. All she could do was be the best person she could be and hopefully make him happy in the process.

Ziva grinned as a thought popped into her head and she grabbed her phone, determined to lift his spirits. A few swipes and taps later, she held the phone out in front of them both as flames flickered on the screen, the crackling sound of fire coming from the speaker.

"Nice," Tony said approvingly with a wide smile. "And I didn't even have to collect any wood. Too bad it doesn't give off any heat."

Ziva raised herself on her elbow and looked him up and down, realizing he was only partially covered by the picnic blanket. She touched his bare arm feeling his cold skin.

"Why didn't you say something, you're freezing," she admonished.

"It's not that bad, besides not much I can do about it now."

Ziva contemplated their options. His sleeping bag wouldn't be dry any time soon, so all that was left was huddle together for extra warmth.

"The best way to stay warm is shared body heat, Tony. I'm surprised you didn't suggest that before you grabbed the blanket." She quirked an eyebrow at his uncharacteristic behavior.

"Oh, trust me, the thought occurred to me as soon as you started stripping, I just wasn't going to suggest that while stuck in a small space, packed with knives, guns and a very angry ninja." He said and winked.

"I was not angry," Ziva said.

Tony gave her an incredulous look.

"I was frustrated and took it out on you. Which I perhaps do too often. I was really looking forward to camping," Ziva admitted, relieved to see him smile at her honesty.

She pulled the zipper of her sleeping bag down and held it open, an invitation. He looked a bit doubtful at the extremely close proximity they would be in the rest of the night, but then a cold chill ran through his body and she raised an eyebrow.

"I promise I won't bite. And all my weapons are currently out of reach," she added with a sly smile.

He relented, perhaps a bit too quickly for good manners, and did his best to slide into the sleeping bag without bumping into her too much. Which was pretty much impossible.

The tight fit meant the zipper couldn't close all the way up, so he pulled the blanket over his back and tried to get comfortable, while Ziva did the same. He ended up on his back, Ziva glued to his side.

"Are you comfortable," she asked.

"Let's say I'm comfortably uncomfortable."

Ziva frowned, but decided not to analyze the comment and simply rest her head on his shoulder. They lay like that in silence for a few minutes.

"You know, I think I'm really starting to like the whole camping experience," he said, his fingers had started lightly trailing over her arm.

Ziva huffed, "You only like it because we didn't pitch a tent."

His eyes went wide, "I might be pitching a tent in the morning if we spend the whole night like this."

She chose that moment to move half on top of him with a frustrated grunt, placing a leg in between his, her head firmly on his chest, before she finally stilled, letting out a small hum of contentment.

"Sooner if you keep wriggling like that," he said voice strained.

She lifted her head to look at him, brows drawn together.

He smiled at her confusion and kissed her forehead, wrapping his arms snugly around her.

"Just promise you won't kill me in the morning," he said

She chuckled and rested her head on his chest again.

He waited a few beats before saying, "A chuckle is not a promise, Ziva."

"Sweet dreams, Tony."

"They'll be a lot sweeter if you promise not to kill me"

She looked up at him, exasperated. "I promise I won't kill you." With a sly smile she continued, "even if you pitch a tent in the morning."

Tony chuckled and tucked a few strands of hair behind her ear.

"Would you consider going camping with me again?" He asked tentatively.

"Why don't we practice camping in my living room first, before trekking out into the woods in the middle of February again? It's dry, warm, you won't get your shoes dirty," she looked at him pointedly and he rolled his eyes. "I have a fireplace."

"I like the sound of that," Tony said with small smile. "I'm a slow learner, though. I'll need lots of practice."

Ziva's gaze drifted to his lips and back up again, before saying, "I don't mind taking it slow. Perhaps we can start tomorrow?"

Tony chuckled. "You have a warped idea of taking it slow."

"Tony, if we move any slower, we will be going backwards and have to start pretending we don't know each other," she said, unwilling to compromise any longer.

"I have a very comfy air mattress that fits perfectly between the fire place and the coffee table. We'll pick it up in the morning," Tony said.

Ziva felt like a weight had lifted off her shoulders. She raised her chin and was glad he could take a hint when he lowered his head towards hers, because trying to lift herself higher in the confines of the sleeping bag would undoubtedly end up with her accidentally kneeing him in the groin. Her eyes closed and she breathed in the lingering scent of his cologne, mixed with forest and rain and him, as she gently touched her lips to his in the barest hint of a kiss, before pulling back.

Ziva's tongue darted out to taste her lips where they had met his, lightly drawing in her lower lip as she got lost in his eyes. As any lingering regret of going camping with Tony dissipated, she wondered if this was what inner peace felt like.

Unable to contain a smile, yet hesitant to take this any further—her idea of slow wasn't _that_ warped—she rested her head on his chest and in a tone full of promise said, "Goodnight, Tony," before falling sound asleep, warm and safe in his arms.


End file.
